A baby shower: I say the more the merrier. Noone will be offended by being invited to a shower, even if they dont know the mom-to-be very well (I dislike that crazy notion...if they dont want to go, they wont). They may however feel bad not to be invited. These days people are so busy that not everyone will come...so make it easy and invite all you can.
Bridal shower: There may be more than one shower, which makes it easy because people fit nicely into categories: work, church, bookclubs, sororities, etc. In this case it has a lot to do with your hostess...she will decide on the theme of the shower which may affect the amount of guests.
Your Kid's Party: Of course, invite by age...that is the easiest way. This is hard, because you may want to invite YOUR friends' kids rather than your kids' friends. I think thats fine when they are little...(ok thats all I know) The biggest thing is invite as many as you can handle and have enough adults there to help!
All other get-togethers: (Dinner Parties, Girls Nights Out, Date nights, etc.) I may be crazy, but I still feel like more is better. If it means being a little tighter around the table, its a small price to pay to enjoy more friends!
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